My phone is off and won’t come back on for the next four weeks, while I’m studying hard. I hope you have fun without me.
I’ll still be checking my emails now and then and I might even put in a post or two, but given my recent record I wouldn’t hold your breath.
You guys who’ve been asking when the new pictures are coming, quite right, I’ve been terrible.
Here’s a few more to keep you going while I’m away :)
Oh you’re right, I’ve had two reviews in the last few months actually, but I’ve been rubbish at updating.
And here’s one on plink (thanks goldboy, you seemed like a real person too :P).
They both asked if I’d mind them writing a review, and I already thanked vinny for his. I can’t see anything to object to really, they’re hardly full of sordid details, and it’s nice for potential clients to have something other than my own nonsense to read.
There are reviews in which aren’t as nice. A friend of mine has one from her parlour days which is hilarious, but clearly more to do with the writer’s fantasy than anything that happened in the 20 minutes they spent together, and it does make a girl feel a bit icky. All the ones I’ve had have been more or less tasteful though, click the “reviews” link if you want to investigate!
It occurred to me overnight that you might not be a pushy dick, but someone who has trouble reading social cues. If you just didn’t notice that I’d chosen not to answer your questions then I apologise for being mean.
Questions. I’d already been sarcastic about your last four.
I think most people will have read my recent answers to one tenacious questioner* as a distaste for banal sex questions, but maybe someone will read the latest dodge and think I’m trying to hide something. Just in case, then: no, I don’t like animals in that way.
While we’re not really on the subject, I don’t love animals either. As a vegan who tries to avoid killing animals, even gross ones like slugs, I don’t know what people are trying to get across when they say they love animals. I suppose it’s like loving rain or christmas? The general presence of non-specific animals makes them happy? But even if you exclude humans, there are so many animals, and so much variety. Maybe that’s my scientific leaning coming through, and “animals” is a perfectly good shorthand for “birds and medium to large mammals, excluding humans” as far as many people are concerned.
* He also keeps asking if my parents know about my work, since I wasn’t specific enough for him the first time he tried it.
I got it from a couple of baby name sites. First I went through all the names beginning with ‘A’ and picked the ones I liked. Anika was the least obscure of them. Then I needed to add something for an email address and didn’t want something generic like “escort”, so I chose a middle name. I thought a single syllable would scan well and I picked Mae as in West.
Neither of these were part of my decision, but Anneke was also the singer in my favourite band at the time, The Gathering, and Anika was a friend of Pippi Longstocking. Pippi’s popular all over Europe, but British people mostly just have a vague association with pigtails. If that’s you, sort it out, especially if you have kids. And you’d better not tell me that your kid won’t be interested because he’s a boy; that would only happen if you’ve convinced him that girls aren’t cool. Pippi Longstocking is awesome.
Oh really, is that what you meant? And me just going off on a tangent like that! You poor thing. Maybe a nice mince pie and eggnog would cheer you up?
When I was eight, my best friend’s dad lived across the street from a cat sanctuary. Whenever we were over there we used to visit it, because they kept all their older kittens one room. Yes, there was a kitten room. That was probably the best room I’ve ever been in. Since we were tiny and cute ourselves we didn’t even need to bring cat food, we just went in there and played with some kittens while even more kittens climbed on us and untied our shoelaces. I think kitten rooms should be a therapy tool; it would make almost anyone feel better.
If I could only do one for the rest of my life, it would have to be swallow. Spitting is good for making a phlegmy cold less unpleasant, but swallowing is really important for eating, drinking, and not choking on your own saliva.
I’m anal about weird things like not leaving odd grains of rice in a pan or plate, but I’m pretty laid-back when it comes to sex.
Well yeah, but it’s not a very good one I’m afraid. When I started to set up my business, the first thing I came up with was a name, so I could open an email account. After that I had to make a website which meant choosing a domain name, and of course I could have just gone with my name but I didn’t want to. Why? I don’t know. Also, it was about 4am. I was in the chatroom of a community that I’d been part of for years (I was an early web-nerd by UK standards) so I asked them for suggestions. One was girlssittingoncakes.com, which led me to the in-joke referencing allgirltogaparty. I could do with something more straightforward, but it’s still kind of funny.
Good thing I didn’t go for the cakes, because it seems that’s an actual fetish and lots of icing in the nether regions isn’t healthy for girls.
Hello. Sorry I’ve been so quiet. I’m posting this as an announcement, so first the most important bit:
I’ve signed up for an intensive course from the 9th of January to the 3rd of February, and I won’t be taking any bookings during that time. If you’ve been meaning to see me sometime soon, now’s the time to book! I’ll also be away for a few days over Christmas.
Sorry to those of you who’ve been coming along hoping to see a new post, but since it’s only a couple and I seem to have run out of steam regarding any regular posting schedule, it’ll be haphazard from now on. If you want to keep up, consider subscribing with the options on the sidebar. Email subscription should notify you when I have a new post, or you can use RSS to aggregate my blog along with any other websites you want to keep track of. If you’ve never used a feed reader before, a few of the many options are described here, and if you have a mail program on your computer then that can probably handle feeds too. If you don’t read any other blogs, columns or webcomics regularly you could have a look at some of the things I read, on the right.
I’ll try to get something a bit more interesting up soon.
Sorry I missed last week and have totally neglected you ever since. Did I make anyone sad? I’m not really sure whether the people who read this are regulars (I know there are a few, but for all I know it’s only the ones I know about specifically) or people dropping in while visiting my site.
Anyway, here’s another picture from my latest shoot (the full set hasn’t arrived yet), because it’s not all moody goth stuff.
© Trash Meister 2011
Mostly they either take it without a fuss or they’re interested and ask questions (often while apologising for being nosy or asking if I mind). Less often I get people who refuse to believe me, which is annoying. I don’t care if they think I’m messing with them, but they become terrible bores so I have to keep telling them that I’m not changing my answer and try to get them to go away or talk about something else. Then there’s the odd negative reaction (mostly the concerned type rather than overtly judgemental), but those generally come when I’m under the weather so I think I’m usually too sure of myself to get people worrying about me.
No-one’s asked me how much I earn in a while, thankfully. What’s that about? I thought English people were supposed to find that sort of conversation vulgar. I certainly wouldn’t consider asking unless it was specifically relevant to the topic at hand.
Well since you’re asking about actual clients and not random timewasters (you wouldn’t do much better with that since I forget them quickly) I don’t want to say anything too specific since they probably don’t want me going on about their fetishes.
Not the strangest but fairly strange was… well first I have to explain ball busting. It means punching and kicking some guy’s bollocks. Most of you will probably think that’s a pretty bloody odd thing to ask for, but since it’s just a subset of cock & ball torture (though a bit more dangerous), and I was introduced to that by my second boyfriend when I was 17, I don’t consider it to be outlandish. Everyone who’s asked for it has been a timewaster though, except for one client that I knew already who’d decided that he wanted to try it. He was quite specific though; he wanted gentle ball busting. No more contradictory than many aspects of sexuality really, but the concept makes me laugh.
Um, you mean like pushing boundaries? That would be a pretty dangerous and unprofessional thing to do while working, wouldn’t it.
No, I haven’t for a while. I did have a casual long-distance thing that started just before I went into stripping and lasted for several years (it was so casual that it was hard to work out when it ended, though I remember when it began very well *smile*). In many ways that was my ideal relationship. We talked fairly often and had a great time when we got together, but the distance provided some restraint and we were both chilled out enough about the whole thing to go with that. When I’ve had easily-accessible boyfriends I’ve generally been sucked too far into the relationship and found myself not really enjoying it but not used to keeping myself company.
I don’t expect to meet someone again who’s as relaxed about sex and relationships as my ex and who I fancy, so I expect to stay single indefinitely. I also live with my best friend now which sort of makes her my platonic wife, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on the emotional aspects of having a boyfriend/girlfriend, and of course I’ve got the sex bit taken care of!
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